tradina waller

I have read a lot of blogs and tweets lately about “haters”.  I am glad that people are coming to the understanding that “haters” have the ability to push you toward your full potential and that instead of hating on your haters we need to embrace them.  Fortunately, this concept of embracing your haters is not a new concept.

Jesus took this concept further and told us in Matt.5:44, “But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”  Luke repeated an account of this teaching in Luke 6:27 “But I say unto you which hear, love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.”

Could it be Jesus knew that haters/enemies have the potential to push you into your destiny, point out your weaknesses, are the key to greatness, don’t possess the power to hurt or harm you unless you allow it, keep you on your toes, and that we can actually learn from them.

You see Jesus knew all too well about the power of love.  He knew that loving your haters/enemies can change their hearts and yours.  He knew that for the Christian, loving your enemies has the power to make them Christians.  Matt 5:45 goes on to read, “That they may be children of your Father which is in heaven…”

Jesus was and still is the master teacher. He knew that we need haters/enemies and without them we would not be able to survive.  He knew that with them we would thrive!  We will thrive with haters/enemies as long as we learn to love them, learn the lessons they have to teach us and correct the weakness they see in us.  He knew when we learn to love our haters/enemies we become more and more like Christ.

I feel we are just scratching the surface of embracing our haters.  We need to imitate Christ and understand the depth and power of loving them.  Our world would be a much better place if we would truly love our haters/enemies as Christ instructed us to.

So what do you say, are you ready to love your haters?

Tags: enemies, h8ters, hatas, haters

I have often heard men remark or complain that the first thing on a woman’s mind when meeting her for the first time is marriage.  They say, “I have not even had a chance to know her and she is already thinking about marriage.”  Then I also hear women complaining that all men think about is sex.  They do not care if they know you or not, they do not want to marry they just want sex.

What’s really happening is both genders are responding  according to their genetic make up.  Men are more sexually and visually wired and women are more emotionally and family oriented.  It’s just the opposite side of the same coin.

Personally, I think both genders need to slow down and take a chill pill and get to know one another before marriage or intercourse.  Though both views are hasty, at least the female’s desire to marry is biblical and is what God himself requires.  While the male tendency to have sex without marriage is fornication and completely outside of the will of God.

We need to recognize how God has designed male and female, seek understanding and act accordingly instead of complaining and putting one another down.  What are your thoughts?

Tags: female, fornication, genders, male, marriage, views

In the book “What Daddy Should Have Told His Little Girl” by Tony Gaskins, Jr., he shares his insightful experiences and knowledge of male behavior in regards to relationships with females.  Tony touches on a few questions that at one time, or another crosses women minds as they try to understand their male counterparts.  Through his advice and insight he stands as a friend and confidant to females helping them navigate through troubled waters.

First, I will start off by saying that I read this book from the perspective of a grown Christian Woman who was once married for twelve years and has birth and raised three boys.  With all of the experience I have gained over the years, I still found a few nuggets of wisdom I am able to apply to my life.  Tony’s writing definitely took me back to the point when I was married and caused me to examine a few things more closely than I had at that time.  Sad to say, but the break up of my marriage was for the same two reasons why the majority of marriages do – infidelity and finance.

I was glad to see Tony site the same reasons for male infidelity and abusiveness as the same general ones that I came to understand in my experiences with men.  It all boils down to learned behavior, self hatred, pinned up emotions, or an unsubmitted life to Christ.  It was a little disheartening to hear about the “one flaw” rule because it almost seamed as if he was placing man’s infidelity on woman’s inability to be perfect.  Through prayer I have come to the understanding that neither male nor female can be faithful without submitting their natural sexual drive to the Lord.  Temptations will come to test and try to pervert the natural sex drive to an unholy driving force that can lead to insane practices.

The last chapter was a wonderful addition to the book that brought finality, conclusion, and hope.  I learned during my marriage as Tony expounds on, that beauty alone is incapable of causing a male to remain faithful.  Tony gave me insight as to a male’s justification of his infidelity and helped me to see a couple of my own short comings.

I plan on giving a copy of this book to my nieces who currently do not have a male figure in the home and recommend this book to all females seeking a deeper understanding of male behaviors.

Tags: male behavior, man's head, relationship, Tony Gaskins

Women who allow themselves to be beat to a pulp by their spouse or significant other, state their reason for returning or remaining in an abusive relationship is that they love them.  Wanting or needing the abuser to change their ways is not relevant to the abused – only a warped sense of love is their focus.

No one knows more about love than the creator himself, so we must look to the Holy Scriptures to get a true understanding of what real love is.  In I John 4:8 it states that God is love, so to know what love truly is we must first get to know God.  Proverbs 9:10 reads, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.”  God gives humans the capacity to know him.  It is imperative that we start understanding love by getting to know God for only then can we get it right.

How does one have the proof that they love themselves correctly?  Proverbs 19:8 reads, “He that getteth wisdom loveth his own soul: he that keepeth understanding shall find good.”  One who cares enough to educate themselves and gain wisdom for their own betterment loves their soul.  One who continues to walk in the knowledge that they have gained will live a good life.  A good life is what God wants for his children.  If that was not true, God would not have told us how to find good.

Another scripture that comes to mind is James 2:8, “Thou shalt love they neighbor as thyself.”  A key phrase here is “as thyself.”  One thing that abused women are missing is self-love and if they cannot love themselves how can they love another.  So, it becomes a vicious cycle.  You have two self-haters attempting to love one another.

This is twisted love.

-Tradina

Tags: abused, abuser, hate, love, self love, woman, women